Don't Blame For It.

Hello 2015!!

Finally I'm back on blogging after for soooo long. Miss her smile? Honestly I missed her smile. It's been awhile she didn't managed to smile like this.

Well, wel, I'm just to bored hospital so decided to re-write my blog. Maybe is a good thing for me to released all I wanted to say. Ignore my crap because I just feel like to write it all out.

Do you believed life is really like a roller coaster. UP AND DOWN. When you are up, everything seems so colourful. You don't even need to make effort doing anything , all is well prepared for your. BUT, when you are Down, a single thing you do, a single word you speak seems is all wrong.

Oh my 2014,  I can say DECEMBER is a totally DOWN DOWN DOWN month for me. Career, Relationship, Life, Health is all only I can described with a word. MESSED. 

All the pressure , ended up my 2014 with a huge breakdown ending.

What a wonderful ending. An accident totally changed my life. Some of you must be wondering what is happening. 

With all the pressure, I decided to run in the park to release it in one sunny morning. When on my way back home, some reckless driver run over me and yes it hit my back. Honestly, at first I thought is just a minor accident, still managed to walk home and shower heading to work. 

Hours of pain, and just realized is a Spinal Fractured.

Nothing else can be said, and admitted to Hospital. First day normally I won't feel that pain. Still in shocked and all I remember is replying all my friends whatsapp by saying Im Okay, Dont worry. All is fine. 

Honestly, Im not. I felt so lost that time, Wanted to cry but really Can't. Ended up my mum called me. Tears burst out unconditionally. Mother love is to precious. I just can't be strong infront of her.

First night in the hospital,

My second time crying on that day. My crazy unexpected buddy fly all the way from Miri just to surprised me for my house new year party. But I gave him a bigger surprised before hand. HAHAHA, Anyway, the sweetest thing in my life. I really dont expect anyone to visit me in the hospital and see me in such condition. But this amazing friends, no words can be describe. 

31st December 2014. 

Doctor allowed me to go home waiting for operation. In the condition of wearing the belt and  I have to lay down on the bed.

Well, my active lifestyle and asked to me lay down on the bed for the whole day is totally impossible.

My new year eve party still going on. 

1st January till up to date-

My pain is increasingly . Until a point of my life which I almost breakdown. The pain is too unbearable. I never have so much medicines in my life. No choice, only able to stay on the bed. How long more I need to be like this? Days by days, thank god there is still my supportive friends keep checking on me and make sure Im ok. Never ending giving me support and motivations. Thank you. No words can be describe beside thank you.

Tomorrow will be the day, hopefully all my pain will be gone after this. Don't worry friends,  I will stay strong. I'm going to come back healthy than before and continue my fitness journey. Maybe a good thing, I gained weight from unable to exercise and let lose weight again together when I am back on track. Strong and determined ! Don't give up fitness people. 

I do believed, everything happens for a reason. I don't blame, I don't back off. All I would do is be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what i deserved. A worthwhile journey for me to be stronger. Stronger than before.

Love- RK